Intimacy and relationships are often one of the biggest unspoken fears after ostomy surgery. It is not always about physical intimacy either. It is about closeness, vulnerability, confidence, and feeling comfortable in your own body again.

When you are new to life with an ostomy, it can feel like everything is hard at once. Even the smallest tasks suddenly require planning and attention. Getting dressed, leaving the house, sleeping through the night, eating without anxiety, trusting your body. It can feel like everyone else has figured something out that you somehow missed.

What I wish someone had told me early on is this. Many of the things that feel overwhelming at first truly do get easier. Not overnight and not all at once, but slowly and steadily as you gain experience and confidence. What feels consuming in the beginning often becomes routine, and then almost automatic.

Here are some of the everyday things people are often surprised to find become easier over time.

There is something interesting about big milestones. We spend time building up to them, reflecting on everything behind us, and then suddenly the day passes. Life continues. The routines return. And we are left standing in the quiet afterward.

There are moments in life that quietly divide everything into before and after. Ten years ago was one of those moments for me. I went into surgery and woke up with an ostomy. I also woke up cancer free. At the time, I did not yet have the language or perspective to understand how much those two realities would shape the rest of my life.