You can find all episodes on Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, Spotify, or watch on YouTube

Intro  (0:00)

• A solo episode this week! I have been on vacation for 2 weeks and it has felt absolutely amazing! 

• Gave me some time for me and it feels good. 

• A few things have happened to me over the last few weeks and I wanted to share that with you!

• No matter how long you have been in an Ostomy, body image is still a big thing. And regardless of the number of things you can do with your body and the acceptance that you have, there may be moments when you are reminded that you are living in a bag. 

Why We Got Away! (1:00)

• Headed to Naples FL to get away and unthaw after Phase 1 of 75 hard and it has been amazing. 

• This was a needed time away! 

• Getting together with friends down here!

• Wasn’t lifting any weights while down here, so I went on walks and played tennis and did some spin classes!  

• I have been relaxing and laying out by the pool. 

Beaching It (2:20)

• My son came down to stay with us for a few days while we were here. 

• Wanted to go to the beach, so I hadn’t been to the beach in a while so we took a day and did that. 

• I have been to the beach in a bathing suit before. I wear these beautiful bag covers by April Wilson that matches my bathing suit. 

• Standing in line to change into my bathing suit at the beach with my bag cover, and even though it is not a big deal, internally I was praying I did not drop the bag cover because I didn’t want anyone to see I was in a bag. 

• Going through my mind and it has been over 6 years and I wear bathing suits and do fitness comps! And didn’t even think twice about that. 

• But for some reason, it kept hitting me in the head. 

• Sat down on the sand and told my son I didn’t know if I wanted to take my shirt off. 

• I didn’t want anyone to see me with it. 

• And my son said Mom, “WHY NOT? It is just a bag, remember? You have done this.”

• And I had to stop and say why? Why is this voice in my head saying this to me?

• It was an insecurity that is still there, crept to the surface, and surprised me. 

• And what really surprised me was this is still in the back of my mind. 

• I know that you must feel those moments yourselves!

  • Fear of shame, insecurities, etc. 

  • It's very normal.

• The best thing we can do is recognize it. 

Would I Go To The Beach Alone With My Bag? (5:00)

• Would I go to the beach by myself? I kept thinking about this. 

• I have been with a bunch of people, but I have gone by myself before in a one-piece bathing suit.

• Would I go with my bag cover?

• Would that voice creep up?

• Have to acknowledge that it's just the voice in my head and nobody really cares.

• When you find yourself in that kind of situation, JUST KNOW it is just the voice in your head.

• No one cares!

• Own that voice, tell it to shut up and get away! 

• One big thing I realized during this vacation. 

To Run Or Not To Run?? (6:45)

• Felt like I needed to go on a run. 

• I went out and had some cocktails and dinner and I ate foods I usually don’t eat. 

• So I am going for a run, and I started feeling my bowels moving!

• My bag was filling up and it was getting heavy!

• Halfway done I had to figure out if I wanted to keep running with this heavy bag of poop and get home quicker, OR walk and get home longer and still have this heavy bag of poop.

• So I get home and my husband is like WOAH you have got a belly! And then I tell him it's poop! And he goes YOU WERE POOPING WHILE RUNNING??

• It's still shocking to him, too, some things that happen!

• You gotta do what you gotta do! You have to still get your run done! LOL!

What I Learned From These 2 Things Happening On The Trip (8:30)

• This happens, guys! And we have to acknowledge that these are some of the things that can happen.

• BUT it comes to what we do mentally over it.

• I had some insecurities about my bag, I know you feel them and again what can we do to stop those insecurities? Keep going INSTEAD of. 

• The same thing happened while I was running. What if the bag comes apart? What if it comes out?

• We have to push through those. And how do we do it?

• 1) Acknowledge the thoughts in our head and say, “I hear your voice in my head, I feel you and I hear you. And I am going to acknowledge it is you saying it and it's not true and I am going to do it anyway!”

• 2) Do it in spite of. In the middle of the run, what were my choices? Stop and walk or continue my run and know it's all okay. Is it going to slow you down and stop you? Or are you going to keep on going? Are you going to let your voice or situation stop you from doing something?

• DON’T let it stop you from doing something, continue on, push yourself through it, you can do it! Our lives are not normal, but it is OUR normal. 

Closing (10:50)

• Our lives are beautiful. We have beautiful days!

• We love our bags and most days I forget I have it.

• But we have to acknowledge that every once in a while, no matter how long you have had it, we may have our moments that we have to acknowledge and move forward. 

• So let's acknowledge and move forward through those moments, stand with each other, and support one another.

• I love you all and appreciate you for allowing me to share these moments with you! 

• See you all next week as we continue with interviews!