How to keep going and not give up with guest Cristina Falbo

Cristina Falbo Podcast Interview Transcription For 2/23/2022

Intro  (0:00)

• This week we are talking with Cristina Falbo 

• We met in our Facebook Group Body Positivity With An Ostomy

• I wanted to bring her on because of her story and how it is similar to mine. 

A Little Bit Of Your Ostomy Story/Cancer (0:57)

• Have Ostomy because of Cancer

• Had cancer in 1995. Cervical Cancer.

  • Right after had her son.

  • I could not have any more children after that

  • Stage 3 

• Had a colostomy during some of those treatment periods. 

• Happened 27 years ago.

• Had to have the colostomy then, things were not as good then as they are now. 

• DIfficulties with adhesives, obstacles with not really having any good Stoma Nurses available. 

  • Kind of on your own, learn as you go.

• 2015 and I was diagnosed with terminal cancer. 

  • Cervical cancer. Recurrence of original cervical cancer. 

  • Surprised because they don’t usually see a 20-year gap with that. 

  • Told terminal by 3 different Chicago hospitals. 

  • No surgeon would take on my case. 

  • Too complicated and would have ended my life. 

• Ended up getting 1 more opinion. 

  • My husband pushed me to get another opinion. 

  • Went through all the testing and they said they would be able to help me.

  • Top 100 surgeons in the country who were going to help me.

Emotional Rollercoaster to Keep Going And Didn’t Give Up (4:58)

• Was stressful. 

• Glad I had my husband by my side to help support me through that. 

• Had 5 children, 2 of them in college, I was now going to be out of a job so this was a big concern.

• Concerned that if I passed, how would it affect her family.

• Just wanted them to be okay. 

• Husband had talked about doing all kinds of possible treatments before we found the surgeon. 

  • Looking for any possible opportunity to save my life. 

  •  Researching, sharing information, and finding options. 

• Just training to maintain sanity day-to-day. 

Leading Up To Second Surgery/Treatment (7:20)

• Attended a friend’s wedding right before the surgery. 

• Was a nice distraction to be with them and spend this weekend with them. 

• Soaked up and enjoyed every moment of that little vacation. 

• In preparation, it is probably the best thing you can do. 

  • Live in the moment

  • Something I try to do every single day. 

• Day of the surgery, I woke up early, fixed myself all up with hair and makeup.

Surgery (10:13)

• Did you know being in an Ostomy was the option?

  • Yes. I Was told that I would have both a permanent Urostomy and Colostomy. 

  • After surgery though they said it would be possible to reverse the Colostomy. 

  • They did reverse that but then had to go back into that. 

  • That was a decision I had to make because of my lifestyle. 

• Lifestyle. What was it like? What made you say go permanent with it? 

  • Gotten to the point where I could not go out or did not want to. 

  • Was afraid to go out.

  • Could not live in the moment. 

  • Lived in fear of having an accident. 

• It got to the point where I didn’t feel like I was truly living. 

• Had blockages, was uncomfortable, was in pain, and finally said enough is enough. 

• When I woke up from getting the Ostomy I was so happy. 

  • “The happiest person to wake up with a Colostomy she ever met!!”

  • Was happy because I felt like I was finally free.

  • A lot of people look at it as a restriction of freedom, but I was FINALLY free!

  • Immediately woke up without pain. 

  • Finally I knew that I was going to be able to do things.

What are some things you have been able to do now since having the permanent ostomy? (13:49)

• Was my dream to retire to Florida.  Planned to do this one day. 

• While in the hospital when I had a blockage and decided to get the colostomy, my husband came into the room and taped pictures of houses in Florida all around the room. 

• Said let’s go now, so it has been pure heaven. 

  • Bought a house with a pool, it was a MUST!

  • Have so much fun, love the home and the pool. 

• Entertain at home, friends come to them a lot. 

• Go on vacations, go on cruises. 

• Start planning time with all of our family. 

  • Think about what is important, and always come back to your family. 

Swimming With Bags (17:53)

• Knew my appliances before I had a pool.

• Knew how they reacted with water and warm water. 

  • Pool is saltwater so it was a bit of a learning curve. 

• Have a hot tub and can go into that. 

• Use a longer wearing bag when swimming. 

• Make sure to let it cure/have a time to let adhesives seel. (24 hours before go swimming) 

• Can’t think of too many other restrictions. 

• Have swimwear designed for Ostomies. 

  • Have some that are not designed for it either. 

  • Have a 2 piece that is the most comfortable, makes it easy to make adjustments and bags fit right inside of the suit. 

• Take care of the Ostomy when I need to. 

• This has not impacted my enjoyment at all. 

• I Grew up being a summertime pool person, and if I eliminated this from my life, I wouldn’t be true to myself. 

• “I am going to enjoy every part of everything I possibly can!!” – Cristina

• “But the most important thing that you’ve said, these last 2030 minutes, is that you are being true to yourself. You are honoring who you are, you are living your life, you don’t really think about it, you just take care of things when they need to be taken care of, and your family. And everything you do is just surrounded by that. And I have to praise you for that!” – LeeAnne

What are some of the things you do to help you live in the moment and stay in the moment? (22:38)

• In the process of being evaluated for a Kidney Transplant. 

  • One of the things that came out of the cancer. My Kidneys were damaged.

• There are a lot of things that could eat me alive, wIth worry and anguish and concern. 

• I have been on my deathbed 2 or 3 times now. 

  • I have fought death before a few times and won and that is part of it!

• Bigger part is, when you really explore all of the “what ifs”.. There are so many possibilities to one situation that your ability to control any of those things that are going to happen, are just not within our own personal ability. 

  • Knowing that made me let go of those things. 

• When I have those days that things pile on top of me, I have to give myself a break and a treat! 

• I am trying to constantly keep myself grounded. 

  • Use the phrase “Live in the moment.” 

• There is not a beginning and an end to things.  We are all in a process.

• “Have I done enough in life? Am I doing everything I should do in my Life? Am I on the right path? And the truth is, I think that we are all right where we were meant to be on our path. And we are doing it right now. We’re not looking at the future of what we’re gonna do. You can’t look in the past and undo anything that’s already there. You’re doing it right now. We’re doing life right now. Every moment.”

Closing Thoughts (28:51)

• People with Ostomies or new Ostomies seem to find me all the time. 

  • So many people are so afraid and it is a scary process. Just brace for it. It is okay. 

  • You are doing what you are supposed to do. 

  • You were led to this point in your life and this is where you were meant to be. 

• You can’t plan for this, prepare for this. But just know it is going to be alright. 

• Hold your head up high. You have been through A LOT of stuff!

  • If you have come this far, look at all you have gone through. 

  • You are winning because you are still here.

• It really is an amazing life, and my life is not done, I am not over it.

  • Has adjusted and learned the tricks on how to get through different situations.

  • You make these adjustments and they become second nature. 

• Hold your head high, you have DONE SO MUCH

Reach Out To Cristina (33:27)

• Find her in the Body Positivity Group.

On Facebook under Cristina Herleinn Falbo.